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We’re Here, We’re Queer, Come Find Us: Top 5 Ways to Meet Queers in Oakland


Oakland is Full of Queers: Let’s Find Each Other

When you are of the queer persuasion, it is slightly more complicated to meet love interests than it is for straight people. There are fewer queers than non-queers in the world, and you can’t always be sure if someone is a homo, or just a straight person with really fabulous style. Sometimes you even lust after a straight woman and no matter how hard you wish to the witchy-hippie-queer-goddesses, she does not turn gay. (But sometimes she does! And then turns back! And then you cry and promise never to fall for another straight woman until you do it again the next year. But I digress). Oakland is simply brimming with queer folks, you just have to know how to find them. With these tried-and-true methods, you’re sure to get laid or fall in love. Maybe both!


1. OkStupid (a.k.a. OkCupid)

It’s 2014, the stigma around internet dating is pretty much gone, right? We all know by now that OkCupid is the best way to get laid and sometimes even find a significant other. I like to hate on it and call it OkStupid but the truth is I met my grrlfriend there. We were going to come up with a good story that didn’t involve the internet but whatever, we got over it. Thanks, OkCupid, she’s a good one. I know you already have a profile on there, so log on and send some messages. All of the cute, smart, fun and interesting queers are on OkCupid this very moment, obsessively updating their “most private thing you’re willing to admit” in an attempt to appear as witty and laid-back as possible. Because nothing says “laid-back” like obsessing over your profile.


2. Hella Gay/Ships in the Night

Queer dance parties are one of the best ways to meet homos, and the big ones are Ships in the Night the first Saturday of every month, and Hella Gay on the second Saturday. Personally, I get overwhelmed by loud noise and big crowds, and when you throw in a bunch of hot queers, I get all nervous and breathless and feel like I’m at a middle-school dance. But other folks seem to love them, and meet cuties there. After a few drinks and some sweaty dancing, you’ll have no trouble taking someone home for the night, if that’s what you’re looking for. Or you could make some cool new friends, which brings us to the next best way to meet folks


3. Your gay friends.

The best way to meet queers in a romantic way is to surround yourself with queers in a platonic way. Queers roll with other queers, and once you make a new queer friend, your queer community can merge with their queer community, and your options will increase exponentially. It’s just basic math. You can never have too many friends, and it’s worth the high risk of awkwardness/dyke drama/heartbreak. You’re going to encounter awkwardness, dyke drama and heartbreak anyway, so you might as well date your friends’ friends.


4. Bars: the old-fashioned way

Gay bars used to be secret, underground, speakeasy-esque escapes from the heteronormative world where queers could gather in safety and secrecy. Nowadays, in the Bay Area at least, we can (mostly) be ourselves everywhere, and there aren’t that many gay bars left. But if you like drinking and the gays, you could always try the White Horse, the oldest gay bar in the U.S. They have drag shows and karaoke and reasonably priced drinks. And a cool smoking patio that is half inside/half outside. It’s hit or miss in terms of the clientele but it’s a real live gay bar, and there are always real live gay people there.


5. Just walk around looking fabulous.

Queers can sniff each other out: Straight people may take my lipstick and short skirts as a sign that I’m into dudes, but other queers know it means I’m a fabulous femme. Be bold, turn up your gaydar and just go for it. Cruise a cutie as you cruise around Lake Merritt. Flirt with that cute barista at your local coffee shop. Does she have a half-shaved/half-long haircut? Lots of tats? Is she wearing a button-up? Does she look fabulous? Yeah, she’s probably queer, and you’re definitely queer, so ask her out. You can do it! If she doesn’t say yes, or is straight, don’t stress- this city is simply brimming with amazing, available queers. Here’s to finding each other.

Featured Image: Flickr user philippe leroyer via Creative Commons

Ash Fisher is a comedian, actor and writer. She is not a comedienne, an actress or a writeress. Ash does standup all over California and co-produces and hosts "Man Haters Comedy" every month at The White Horse in Oakland. She is also an occasional illustrator and does voiceovers whenever someone lets her. She is a self-proclaimed selfie expert. Ash holds a B.F.A. in Theatre from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and Sallie Mae will never let her forget it.

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