Welcome to #AskCam, a column where sex and intersectionality are not divided but welcomed together.Dear Cam, How do I go on dates with other cuties when I don't even have time to go on dates with my wife? When any "taking time" feels more like "stealing time", how the hell do you prioritize? -Not Enough Time
Dear Not Enough Time (NET), First of all, I want to say, thank you for writing in about this. This may not be the sexiest topic, but it's SO important to talk about. This sounds like the classic dilemma that more folks encounter than you realize, monogamous or not. We have a lot to deal with during the day: there's school, work, commuting, social media'ing, catching up with friends, family drama, sickness that can sneak up on you, aging and shifting relationships. All of this impacts the way that we prioritize and schedule our day. It seems like you definitely already have a lot on your plate, NET. I think the first thing to do is to be clear about what you would like to do and what you are capable of doing. If we all had unlimited time, energy, and resources, there's so much that we would be able to get accomplished. But there are so many barriers that make that impossible for many of us, and that's okay. We have to be honest with ourselves about what our own boundaries, limitations, and desires are. I would consider writing down exactly what your priorities are: what absolutely needs to be attended to, in the moment, no matter what? What are things you would like to make more time for? Where are your openings for time to realistically fit those things in without overextending yourself?
Made a to-do list of all the things I have to do today. Crossed off “make a to-do list” from my to-do list. Added “clean up desk” to my to-do list. Started cleaning up my desk.