This Sexual Assault Awareness month, share these resources who a friend who may benefit from them. [CW/TW: mention of sexual assault] In the past year, more people have felt empowered to speak openly about sexual assault. As most survivors know, sexual violence is
In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, here are some important self-care tips for when things become too much.For those suffering from acute or long-term post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression, there are often times when these become so overwhelming that it can be difficult to even accomplish the basic functions of daily living. Often we end up in such vicious cycles post-trauma that we are unable to do simple things for ourselves like bathing or cooking, so we end up feeding and prolonging our bouts of PTSD and/or depression. In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, here are some important self-care tips for when things become too much.
1) Get some restNotice I don’t say get sleep, because sleeping can be tricky during these times, and we can get upset by the fact that we can’t sleep. Instead of worrying about sleeping, make sure you spend a few hours everyday in a dark room with your eyes closed practicing some deep, soothing breaths. Even if you aren’t asleep, doing this gives your eyes and body a small break. I also find that melatonin or valerian supplements can help me get at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Weighted blankets are also a great investment.
2) Drink waterWe cannot survive without water, it is essential to stay hydrated. I know that the simple action of making the effort to get a glass of water can be enough to not do so, so I recommend keeping bottles around your home, in different rooms. Set a timer to go off at least every hour to remind you to have a glass.
3) Add extra fiber to your dietDepression and stress mess with our digestive system big time. Comfort foods can also be difficult to digest. Daily fiber supplements like psyllium husk and probiotics can help keep things moving. Also, green smoothies made with protein powder and nut milks can give you a great boost of fiber, phytonutrients, enzymes, and protein so at least your insides can run smoothly. Being constipated only makes emotional issues worse. Let that shit go. Literally.
4) Plan your mealsWhether this is using a delivery service (if you can afford to) or doing a big round of shopping to prep your meals for a week, having food in the house that requires minimal preparation can be a godsend. It only requires that one day of cooking or prep, and it takes out that element of worrying what you will have to eat. Depending on your stress-relievers, the act of prepping and cooking can be quite relaxing.
5) Cleanse yourselfLike being constipated, being dirty can add to our feelings of hopelessness and despair. A long hot shower or bath can help us wash away not just the grime of the day, but it can also wash away layers of emotional upset. Still, and especially if it’s really cold, the idea of getting soaked feels like a nightmare. Basic bathing, with gentle and non-toxic wipes or a hot washcloth can be the next best thing. If you notice that this is one of the harder things for you to manage when your PTSD/depression is flaring up, consider installing a bidet on your toilet so at least your nether regions stay clean. These bidets can fit underneath your toilet seat or can be a handheld attachment you stick to the wall next to the commode. They aren’t expensive or difficult to install, and can make a world of difference.
It is the core of Restorative Justice that an offender must accept responsibility for the harm that they have caused.By Michelle Carroll For the past few years, the college sexual assault movement has been unable to answer a simple question: what do we do with people who commit sexual violence? In 2015, Dana Bolger of Feministing asked her readers to consider whether incarcerating a segment of the male population is a viable solution. She highlights a 2015 study from JAMA Pediatrics that she argues successfully challenges the movement’s assumption that a majority of campus sexual violence is perpetrated by repeat offenders, and that in reality, only 25% of campus sexual violence is committed by repeat offenders. Instead, a significant portion of campus rapes are committed by men who rape only once in their college career (this study finds that 10.8% of a university’s male population are ‘one time’ offenders). Bolger concludes her article by arguing that it is not feasible to lock up nearly 11% of the male population in the hopes that by isolating the “real criminals” from our population, we can eradicate campus sexual violence. I agree with Bolger’s conclusion. But, not with her reasoning. Beyond the logistical difficulties, incarcerating 11% of our university male population will further solidify the United States as the most prolific country in rates of mass incarceration. And we know that our criminal justice system actively perpetrates institutional racism and terrorizes communities of color. Black people in this country are five times more likely to be imprisoned than their white counterparts, and Hispanics are imprisoned at double the rates of white people. If we want to radically transform our campus communities and eradicate the cultural norms that underpin sexual violence, imprisoning more black and brown people will only sustain this system of violence. The answer to college sexual assault is not to replicate the racism of our penal system in colleges and universities, but rather to initiate a prevention and response strategy that prioritizes healing for the victim, perpetrator, and the whole community. What do we do with people who commit sexual violence on college and university campuses? The answer is to employ Restorative Justice techniques.
What Restorative Justice Isn’tWhen I was a junior at Franklin and Marshall College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, there was a public incident of sexual harassment. A male sports team rated women as they walked through the center of campus during the middle of the afternoon. Within hours the entire student population had heard. I didn’t see the team rate women, but I certainly discussed the team’s behavior in conversations with my fellow Women’s Center members as well as on Facebook. However, the college didn’t release a statement or explanation to the student body. As anyone who attended college knows, sexual violence investigations and sanctions are sacrosanct—you may hear about the incident, but you’ll never hear about the aftermath. In this case, our college Title IX coordinator reached out to me to design a Women’s Center conversation around catcalling so that the team could attend and hear the perspective of their female peers. To no one’s surprise, the conversation was a disaster. The team came ready for a fight, bringing female reinforcements to testify in Franklin and Marshall’s Women’s Center that “No, catcalling doesn’t bother me” and “I know I look good when I’m catcalled.” The conversation lasted for an hour and at the end, neither the team nor the Women’s Center members felt heard or supported. Everyone left the room angry and I spent the afternoon sobbing in my dorm room.
Listen to trans women who come forward and give us the resources we need to heal.[TW: description and mention of r/pe, PTSD and transmisogyny.] The weekend of August 24th, 2018 marks 5 years since I was raped in my dorm room at Temple University in Philadelphia. My life was completely turned upside down by the assault, my dreams shattered and I’ll never get to achieve them. Everything I wanted to happen, won’t. Is it possible to reflect on something too much when it completely reshaped my life and the dreams and vision I had for it? No, I don’t think so. When I first reported what happened, it wasn’t by choice—no, a bureaucrat in Temple’s Residential Life office had forced me to tell that story. They caused me to go through something that was a violation in its own right, for me. They forced me to relive—multiple times—one of the most violent experiences of my life. I remember that day in the bureaucrat’s office like it was yesterday. It’s painful to be able to relive the experience, I relive the trauma that was dealing with reporting the rapes every day; although the rape itself has fortunately slightly faded from my memory. I still remember it, I still weep and mourn that day, yet I don’t feel its pangs as much anymore. I hope that, one day, I can even stop mourning. Is it possible that my life wouldn’t have been completely overturned by the rape if I was given the proper treatment? Yes. I don’t simply guess at the idea that my life would have turned out differently had I been given the proper resources, I know that it would have been. Colleges—despite their legal responsibility— aren’t equipped with the tools to provide adequate rape treatment and, trans women are not served as a population by rape counseling services. It’s known that rape survivors who get treatment, whatever that treatment may be, have better chances of recovering from their rape and have reduced PTSD outcomes. However, I didn’t receive that treatment. My school didn’t provide resources that actually met the needs I had post-rape, it also never provided the resources I needed to deal with unrelated stalking incidents either, it just didn’t have me on their radar. They made this clear when they told me that they didn’t provide services to survivors of rape and stalking with me later finding out that, in fact, they did. Another, more helpful, bureaucrat in the college let me know that they’ve helped people before.
Related: DON’T BE A TERF: TRANSMISOGYNY 101
Anger, beyond happiness, has been a driving force and a focused laser beam which has led me to some of the most cathartic moments of self-care. [TW: mention of sexual assault and the word r/pe] The beginning of April marks the start of