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Welcome to #AskCam, a column where sex and intersectionality are not divided but welcomed together.

Dear Cam, I'm exploring my sexuality and experimenting with different kinks, but I'm getting kind of worried about the kinds of things that I've been interested in. I'm not hurting anyone or anything, but some of the things that I find through online or in my imagination are... not as typical to what other people are into. But they turn me on. Am I a freak or what? -Turn Me On Turn Me On, Your question immediately made me think of a Dear Sugar columns [trigger warning: mentions and slight details of rape, incest] to which Cheryl Strayed responds to a reader concerned that her interest in submission means something with a line that stands out completely: icky thoughts turn me on. The thing about what turns us on is that it's both connected and independent from the rest of us. The things that turn us on, like everything else, don't exist in a vacuum. Your curiosity and interest in them could be coming from a subconscious pull or it could simply be the sensation of something — the feeling of leather on skin, the look in a domme's eye as they train their pet, or something else entirely — that just speaks to you. You're not necessarily required to dive deep about the why of what turns you on. If it's something that you are consciously consenting to, are ethical about, and aren't harming another person (or yourself) with, then I say that you're free to explore to your heart's content. What turns you on doesn't need to fit into a box for others to consume neatly.

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