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The harassment that Page faces particularly hit home for me because it shined a light on the specific struggles that LGBTQ+ people face.

[TW: discussions of sexual violence and harassment, homophobia.]  If you've been taking note of anything in public media lately, you've most likely seen accusations of powerful Hollywood figures committing acts of sexual violence finally getting the publicity it needs. In fact, it's hard to take note of what was in the news outside of that. Day after day, we've seen stories shattering the facade that these abusers have so carefully crafted in the public sphere. The lock has been lifted on Hollywood's secret of sexual violence, and there's no turning back. But despite the long list of survivors telling their stories, the stories keep coming. For me, one that took my particular attention was Ellen Page's. Page took to her Facebook page last week to speak on the sexual harassment that she experienced. As she writes, she was harassed by director Brett Ratner, who she worked with X-Men: The Last Stand when she was 18. In the post, she speaks on the deliberate outing of her sexuality that she had to endure, slurs and derogatory comments that Ratner made about her and other women on set, and even comments suggesting that Page be "...f*cked so she realize that she's gay."

The memes we cackle at which ridicule these hoteps may be hilarious, but the high numbers of followers and subscribers they garner suggest that many of us are still struggling with our "strong Black male" problem.

I give Black men a lot of leeway. My mother taught me to. She viewed men as emotionally weaker in need of being coddled. I have made efforts in recent times to try to decolonize my dating habits. My conversations with down low men of color can be quite free-flowing. Still, I would never compel a Black man to be open about our relationship in the way I would demand of a white partner. I know too well the impact it would have on their life. The Black men I sleep with are best friends with the South London equivalents of Charlemagne tha God and DJ Envy. Their families would withdraw their love from them and the cloud of homophobia would blight their skies irrevocably. I find sex with them hilarious because pillow talk is peppered with conspiracy theories, slut shaming and advice I have no intention of following. I give a lot of ‘baby mama’ advice which more often than not just boils down to me telling them to listen more and give them more money. When I kiss them goodbye on my doorstep I feel my stomach wrenching because I know the world won’t see their intellect and their promise but will definitely see my harmless lovers as potentially criminal. I worry of them ending up dead or in prison.

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