Welcome to #AskCam, a column where sex and intersectionality are not divided but welcomed together. Cam, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on manifesting and channeling your sexuality in a positive way. How to own your own sexuality and confidence without succumbing to extremes? -Spiritually Sensual
Spiritually Sensual, This question got me really excited with its complexity. Firstly, it's important to understand exactly where your sexuality is coming from? These are questions that you can write down and figure out through journaling, meditating, or talking to a trusted person in your life (to yourself works as well) but some places to get started:
- When you think of your sexuality, what comes to mind?
- Do you associate mostly positive or negative emotions to it - and how do you want to be feeling about it?
- What areas of your sexuality do you want to change? What areas do you want to celebrate?
These are just guiding questions to get you thinking, of course. But it's important to understand the totality of our sexuality; they are not passive, one-dimensional light switches that we turn on and off whenever we choose. They are part of us, just like our fears and other desires. Sexuality is a healthy, natural, human spectrum of desire and action that deserves to be celebrated! Of course, the ways in which we're allowed to celebrate and own our sexuality have varied throughout culture and history. BIPOC - women and femme folks in particular - have often been demonized and punished for expressing their sexuality. Today, while mainstream feminism acknowledges the need for everyone to feel as sexy as they choose, that privilege is often extended solely to cis white womanhood, as if sexual liberation is the height of oppression for all.