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There’s a Global Pandemic and You Chucklefucks are Still Being Fatphobic

People are revealing that they would rather be exposed to COVID-19 than, GOD FORBID, gain 10-15 pounds while isolating themselves like responsible adults.

This essay contains discussions of fatphobia and disordered eating

About a week ago, I decided to take a break from social media (Twitter in particular) because of some personal shit… but also because every two seconds, I was being bombarded with BREAKING NEWS as it related to the Coronavirus. So, I just had to clock the fuck out. Still. In my time away, I experienced something fascinating:

A rash of “healthy” food and fitness ads sent via email and featured on Instagram.

Initially, I was not shocked. We live in a fatphobic world that likes to remind us every two seconds that if you’re not able to turn to the side and disappear into thin air like Oscar Proud, you are too fucking fat and you should die. However, I noticed there was an uptick in them… and also an uptick in fucknuggets tweeting about gaining “the COVID-15”.

This is basically “The Freshman 15”, but specifically during the time of the Coronavirus and being holed up—IF you are doing social distancing correctly.

A couple of things. Firstly, I hope whoever made this infographic gets coughed on so you have bigger things to worry about than broadcasting your fatphobic leanings to the world. Secondly, I just want to reiterate how peculiarly childish it is—unless you are someone who struggles with disordered eating (which I will get to) to be hyper-obsessed with gaining weight in quarantine right now, when there are loads of people in the hospital, fighting for their lives against this virus that DOES NOT discriminate based on age, gender, sexual orientation, ability, race, and guess what, weight. And thirdly? I care not for any of your tweets or IG posts about your fears of gaining weight and/or becoming fat. Particularly if your name rhymes with Waika Taititi— now formerly one of my favorite directors—and you have a history of doing or saying fatphobic shit while still purporting yourself to be “woke” or progressive

If I were to give even a singular fuck towards caring about people’s eating and dieting habits right now… I’d be handing that singular fuck over to people who already suffer from disordered eating because the stark change in work structure that many of us are experiencing as the spread of COVID-19 intensifies makes it so that our already fragile eating patterns (if they exist at all, mind you) shall be disrupted as well. I fully expect people like myself who have struggled with, say, binge eating (or compulsory fasting or anorexia or whatever else) for our entire lives to especially struggle right now. Especially if one has a history of stress eating (which I’m sure will get exacerbated by all of this). And it would actually be productive if the conversation about “health” during this COVID-19 outbreak was about surrounding these people with love, empathy, and understanding so we are all able to get through these next couple of months without losing our minds.


But that’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is people are revealing that they basically would rather be exposed to COVID-19 (and possibly die from it), than, GOD FORBID, gain 10-15 pounds while quarantining themselves like responsible adults. Like many of you are so virulently and asininely fatphobic that you would rather die of respiratory failure than be fat.

And the irony of this is that, as I stated earlier, Miss Rona doesn’t give a flying fuck if you think you are the picture of perfect health. She doesn’t give a flying fuck about your chiseled abs, your keto or vegan diet, or your 297928732898-day detox. And she definitely does not give a fuck about where you place on the outdated and discriminatory and racist charting system known as the BMI scale. People my age, people much “healthier” than I (whole fucking cross-fitters), are dropping dead and you want me to be worried about gaining a couple of fucking pounds while I wait for this situation to blow over? Are you fucking high?

If anything, COVID-19—like actual death—is proving to be the great equalizer between the rich and the poor and, you guessed it, the fat and the non-fat. Because of this, it would be in your absolute best interests to get your priorities in order, lest Miss Rona gather your fatphobic ass up and get them in order for you.

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