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red bandana headband, leather jacket, sunglasses

Spring makes my nose run. It’s awful but inevitable. Bandanas are better than gross grubby tissues, I promise. Would you accessorize with a tissue? (Not that I *shifty eyes* always have tissues in my purse, or anything. Nope. I’m not even kidding, because actually I have paper napkins that I hoard from Starbucks.)

bandana headband, big sunglasses, talking on her phone

Millennials, always talking on our phones and such. Tsk tsk.

Here’s my claim: bandanas are the #1 spring accessory. Not because they’re trending on the runway, but because they’re useful. I dunno about you, but my nose runs constantly, due to allergies/chilly wind/who knows, which is GROSS, and I would prefer to have an inconspicuous way to deal with it.

Back up a second. You may be questioning if it’s even spring, since the weather only just decided to behave and be pretty. (Although I wish it would rain! Fuck this drought!) According to the Official Human Events Calendar, AKA whatever comes up when I Google stuff, the season changed on March 20th. Like it or not, spring 2015 arrived three weeks ago! We fashion-savvy ladies are faced with the annual challenge: How to maximize our dreams of lighthearted floral outfits? It’s simple. By wearing a bandana. In fact, there are at least a zillion ways to wear one, mostly on your head, as demonstrated by Beladonis Fashion and CuteGirlsHairstyles:

I do feel somewhat skeptical about Beladonis’ videos, because she’s using a larger scarf than what I consider a bandana. This is a true bandana:

Steve Carell as Michael Scott wearing a bandana on The Office

Shoutout to everyone else who sobbed through the last season of The Office.

The choice is not intuitive. Bandanas aren’t especially glamorous. Maybe you associate them with TV cowboys keeping cattle dust away from their mouths, or blocking their faces while they rob a stagecoach. The Wild West was dirty and questionably moral, but at least it had some dramatic flair! On the other hand, as previously noted, I associate bandanas with having a cold. My mom always carries one in her purse and uses it to blow her nose. Sexy, right? Perhaps it can be.

bandana as scarf, big sunglasses

Sunglasses also appear to be correlated with bandanas.

The bandana has the potential to be chic as well as useful. After all, a bandana is just a smallish square of fabric. The Online Etymology Dictionary claims that “the colors and spots are what makes it a bandana“, but colloquially a bandana is less specific. The original paisley is familiar but not mandatory. Take advantage of various patterns of the versatile accessory and flaunt your double-duty handkerchief!

red bandana headband, leather jacket, sunglasses

Whatta sassy babe, amirite? #RedLipstickBestLipstick

A bandana adds a nifty pop of color to your outfit, whether knotted around your neck as a light scarf, tied in a bow to embellish a purse strap, or twisted into a headband a la BB Homemaker. Who doesn’t want to look like pin-up Beyonce? (Answer: no one in their right mind.)

To be totally clear, I’m not suggesting that you use the bandana to blow your nose and then put it right back on your head. I’m suggesting that you use it as an accessory until you face a dire snot emergency, and then stuff the bandana in your purse after it’s been… soiled. Ugh, I’m grossing myself out writing about this.

What do you think? Stupid over-hyped suggestion, or am I a genius? Comment below or hit us up on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram to talk about it.

Photos by Chris Hunkeler, S.Su, and Gabz Hernandez.

Sonya Mann tippity-tap-types on her computer, walks a dog named Button, and voraciously consumes media of all types. She enjoys making zines and wishes she knew more about gardening.

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